January 2008
17 posts
Oh fucking hell, just when you think it can't get...
Elaine: Oh jesus Amil. I just read her "cover story", on her blog. I couldn't help myself. What the fuck??????!!?????? So now we're just to passive-aggressively turn our bitches about our last relationship in a fucking 2000 word column?????!!!!
I am beyond angry.
Help
Amil: Oh Elaine I was gonna blog on feminiazi about how after all that fuss, and 4 EDITS!!!!! that is the best she could turn out. It was like a compilation of the worst aspects of chick lit, retarded women's magazine speak and high school rolled in to one.
There are no words for how much injustice there is in her being a published "writer" ARGH how can she even call herself that? I've had more articulate thoughts on ativan binges.
Elaine: Fuck, you just reminded me that I should go on an ativan binge.
Blog away lady. What kills me is all the pseudonyms. I mean honestly - they are not divulging the identity of fucking Deep Throat.
And then after four edits, this made the cut:
"Anyway, we met in one city, then emailed and called for three weeks until we met for a long weekend in another. Great weekend."
Another what? I mean, I know what she is referring to, but I had to read that sentence four times before I understood it.
What a fucking twit. No wonder everyone I know is jumping ship on journalism.
Amil: Yeah agreed.
Funny you should ask
I was thinking about this movie yesterday. Mostly because I think Eva Longoria has played a fantastical trick on Hollywood - convincing people she is talented - but also because what a queer concept for a film! Why does this dead woman care about who her ex-boyfriend dates? Is the idea that women are so petty and so jealous of other women that they can’t even let go of their worldly concerns...
“What you met the man of your dreams, but his dead girlfriend’s ghost...”
– -Tagline from “Over Her Dead Body” a new movie starring Eva Longoria. (via elainecorden) Seriously Amil, what if that happened?
Well put
I totally forgot that asking you that question was two-for-one, as I got both the have-cable and look-a-like-a-terrorist perspectives. We should totally pitch a column somewhere: Ask a Muslim/ Ask a WASP in which we give advice based on pre-defined ethnic/religious stereotypes. In fact, readers, we are now taking your questions at feminiazi@gmail.com!
All your bad cable news shows are belong to us.
This question reminds me of the time Liz Lemon called the terror cops on her neighbour because she thought he was a terrorist. He was actually just auditioning for the Amazing Race. You see, the lesson is, if you see something (or in your case, if you don’t see something, like Nancy Grace’s huge head) don’t say anything. Chances are it’s snow. Or giant rats eating through...
Ahhh yes. Kitteh makes everything better.
Here’s a question for you, Amil. Although it has nothing to do with the mission statement (hah!) of this blogue, I am nonetheless curious, especially as you now have cable. When you are watching CNN or some such American network, and the station blacks out- goes blank or has snow or whatever - do you wonder, if just for a moment, if the headquarters for said station have fallen victim to a...
Thank You, Elaine.
Okay, I feel better now. You have aptly summed up my disgust. I too, am committing to never again reading The Blog that shall not be named. And will post an LOL cat shortly to start anew. To a refreshed pallette! - Amil
All worked up about Julia Allison.
As usual, Ms. Allison’s post below makes me feel a mixture of pity, shame and loathing. And then I had a thought: Maybe Julia Allison is just America’s Rebecca Eckler? I remember having the same response to Eckler when she had her National Post column - reading her write 1,000 moronic wds about, say, pedicures or jealous friends, and then feeling enraged knowing she made $80,000 a...
A question for all the writers out there
juliaallison: have you ever written something, then edited it, then had someone else edit it, then edited it again, then had someone else edit it, then edited it yourself again, then re-read it and thought “THIS IS A PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKING CRAP” and wondered how the hell that could possibly be, with all that editing??? and THEN felt really, really, really badly about your writing...
Freeze your face ... OFF
So some people are claiming botox, or botchulism, shots in the face can be fatal. Sounds crazy right? But for the record the last time I injected bubonic plague in to my upper arms to get rid of unsightly “pit vagina” I had a hell of a time recovering. Just a thought. Deadly diseases and your face: think twice.
Mike Huckabee is Fuckin' Creepy
That is all.
Re: Yahoo pigeonholing our sexuality
I feel like that Yahoo clip is just an everyday version of how every Halloween costume for women is “slutty _________”. Like, for sure I have seen women dressed as sexy secretary for Halloween. I’m sad, Amil. If this is the way we understand our sexuality and identity, as like, a costume that we put on, is it any wonder that Julia Allison has a retarded* sense of self and...
Suffragette City
This is on the front page of Yahoo.ca:Top 7 looks men love Do men prefer the ‘sexy secretary’ or ‘jeans and a T-shirt’? Before you get all “Is it 1996, why are you on Yahoo?” I use a yahoo email account as a catchall for non-important email, so everytime I logout I am face to face with the online Piggly-Wiggly that is their home page. Anyway, what I came to...
Reblogging Julia →
I try not to blog about Julia but sometimes I can’t help it. I desperately want nothing to do with her, but she 1) calls or emails me almost every day 2) ignores the fact that I told her she is a “psychopathic narcissist” who is “evil” and who I “don’t want to interact with” 3) recently hired my brother to do video work for her 4) writes about me...